I was in a hurry to get to my car. I had a massage appointment to get to. I was walking really fast with long strides. Well, as long as my stubby legs would allow. Suddenly I felt unbalanced and I thought, "Shit, I'm gonna fall. I'm gonna fuck'n hit the ground, HARD." But still even as I was inches from the ground I was sure I would recover before smashing into the ground.
SMASH, BLAM...........embarrassment, humiliation......I look up and up ahead is a man walking toward me. I thought, "Dammit! Don't EVEN talk to me. I can't handle it." I was just so embarrassed and it really hurt.
I got up, brushed myself off, and with strength and pride in my gait, I proceeded onward. As the guy approached me, he said, "Hey. Are you okay?"
Now, here is where I have no idea what happened because for some strange reason, this is how I responded. I did the heavy metal devil horns hand thing and said, "Rock and Roll!!!"
WHAT??? What the hell? Who said that? Was that me?
This concerned citizen walked past and said, "Well, alright." Ugh. I hung my head and did the walk of shame all the way to my car. I called a friend and we laughed at how fucking retarded it was to be all, "ROCK AND ROLL." That made me feel better.
Sometimes in times of shock or dismay or general discomfort, stupid shit just falls out of my mouth. And that's O.K.. Cuz I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggonit, people like me.
I was walking with a friend to get coffee this morning. We passed two women who were in a deeply emotional conversation. One of the women was sobbing. Between sobs I heard, "Women are just the worst thing! They talk about each other."
Poor thing. Yes, women can be evil. It's true. But the worst thing? Funny young girl. She's in for a rude awakening when the rest of her life starts to happen. I don't mean to be cynical, but come on. The worst thing? Women? I think not.
God forbid she get a hang nail. Or what if someone gives her a dirty look?
Wait a minute. What am I doing if not proving her right? It turns out that she's right after all. Women ARE the worst thing. We DO talk about each other. DRATS!!
I got pissed off enough to write a complaint letter today. I've never done this before. I kind of feel bad for doing it, but I was so not okay with the way I was treated that I had to complain. I ordered some stuff from Victoria's Secret on line on July 2nd. As of today I still haven't received the courtesy email with the shipping information. So, I've been calling them and getting all kinds of excuses and I just go, "Okay, thanks for checking." Fucking wimp. Well today, the person on the phone was such a raging cunt, that I had to take action. Below is the letter I sent after they replied to my email inquiry on ship date. Enjoy.
To whom it may concern,
Thank you for getting back to me. Since you stated that my package should arrive on or before July 17th (today), I assumed I would get a shipping confirmation email prior to the delivery. Since I still haven't I'm worried that the package is lost or something.
Yesterday I called the customer service number and a very wonderful woman helped me. I can't remember her name. Sorry. She was wonderful. I told her how disappointed I was and she went to a supervisor to talk it over. She told me that her supervisor had located a tracking number for me from UPS. She then stated that they JUST got this number (July 16th, the day before the latest delivery date) and that I should be fine. She said that I should check the UPS website to track the package on the 17th and if I didn't see it there, to call back.
Soooo, I checked UPS and that tracking number isn't recognized. I called the customer service number to let them know. This is where it gets weird. Mindy answered the phone. I can't forget that name because she was awful and rude to me. She tells me that the UPS website is down and that's why I couldn't track my package. I then quickly checked another tracking number I had for my Sephora order and it worked. So I told her the website was fine that I just checked. I thought I was helping. Well, she did NOT like being contradicted apparently because she then said, "Well, you weren't even supposed to call today. It says right here in the notes that we asked you to call back on Friday if the package hadn't arrived." I can't even type the tone in her voice but I assure you it was nasty if not hateful.
So, I explained that, yes that was true, but that I was also told to check UPS and if the tracking number didn't work today to call back. Which I did. She said, "Well, call back tomorrow because today is the last day to receive the package so our promise to deliver on or before July 17th is still valid and you just have to wait. That's all we can do."
Ok, I'm very upset and frustrated with all this. I've never been treated so rudely before. If I'd received a shipping confirmation in the first place, which I still haven't, I never would've had to "bother" Mindy about what was going on.
It's not fair to treat the customer like they've done something wrong when they clearly haven't. I worked in customer service for years and I would NEVER treat someone the way that Mindy treated me today.
I'm so sorry for complaining. I just felt like you should know how your "valued" customer wasn't provided with excellent customer service.
Ok, so I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean last night. Holy shit. It was wonderful. It was funny, exciting, and full of wonderful Johnny Depp eye candy. He was more beautiful then ever. And he played the shit out of that pirate. Yarrrrrrrr, he didn't blow.
Johnny Depp swaggered and slurred and tongue-in-cheeked his way through the role of Captain Jack Sparrow. Apparently he came up with how the character would act on his own. And it was great. He was great. Brilliant.
Last night was opening night. There were a few people there dressed in pirate gear. As cool as you think that might be, it wasn't. They looked dumb. Especially this guy who was taking himself super seriously. I mean, dorks are cute. This guy was a dweeb. Trust me, there's a difference.
The theatre crowd cheered and clapped and laughed throughout the film. But especially during the first appearance of Johnny Depp. The crowd went wild. Screaming and whooping it up. Or was that just me. How embarrassing. I've never been to a movie where the people were so excited that they couldn't contain themselves. It made it even more exciting to be around the crowd energy.
You must drop what you're doing and go to this movie. Um, I mean......Avast ye. Go forth and see this film.......yaaaaarrrrrrrrrr.
I've been trying to eat better. Less carbs, more vegan protein and more good fats. The result is that I'm happier and I have a lot more energy.
I feel thinner already. Don't know if that's true because I refuse to weigh myself. That would only make me do stupid shit to get to an unrealistic number. But the feeling of smaller makes me shop. Well, at least that's the excuse I'm using today.
Heeeee. I'm a clothesaholic. I can't stop myself. I love clothes. It makes me happy. Or does it? Hmmmm. Fuck it. Who cares? I don't spend a lot. My finances are solid. Why not buy stuff.
I grew up very poor. I didn't even know I was poor until my family moved to Ohio before my Sophomore year in high school. This school was populated with wealthy kids and they had great clothes. My JC Penney clothes just didn't compare. I started to feel self-conscious about my wardrobe. But we were poor. My girlfriends would give me the clothes they didn't want anymore. That was great. But I had so much shame.
Seems silly to me now, but those are important years to kind of "fit in." I pretended like it didn't matter. I was really popular and junk. It probably didn't matter to anyone but me.
Now I'm old and I can buy shit. So I do. lalalala. And I give ass loads of my old clothes to friends and to my little sister. Passing on the love, you know?
Friday, July 25, 2003
